Sunday, December 23, 2012

Edward's December 2012 Mix

 
 
I'm sitting here, a midwestern blizzard outside my window, with Christmas less than a five day week away from me. And all I've been doing is working. I work for a strange company that finagles my hours around to where if  I work overtime one day, they send me home early the next day, so in effect, I don't get overtime. How convenient for the bookkeepers! And guess what? I'm working Christmas AND New Years both. The average European gets 6 weeks a year off from work with a 35 hour work week.  The average American worker gets 3 weeks (including sick days) and is expected to work overtime every week. What is wrong with us? Why am I a shmuck because I'd rather be off of work than work to line some corporate suit's pockets? And the salt on the wound is I make slightly more than minimum wage. I don't think I'll ever understand it. It won't matter for much longer anyway. Trust me on this. Wait and see, this issue will swell like an Indonesian tsunami and will make homosexual marriages and marijuana legalization look like a four year old's request to get up to get one more drink of water. Well, despite our Americans' perverted work habits, I still have to feed my hedonistic habits, and I did so this month. Okay, I lied to you. I'm sorry. I TRIED to. I'll put it that way. I actually quit a hell of a lot of stuff this month. For starters I quit my second job. It just wasn't worth it. The money wasn't all that, and I was tired of walking around looking like an extra from The Walking Dead. I quit a few games, too. And you know how much I hate doing that stuff! Well, maybe you won't hate me when I tell you why. Keep reading. :P


1. Terminator and Terminator 2 on DVD

Ah, a return to the classics! I'd not seen these in years, and they're both still enjoyable to watch. Arnold was in his prime in the first movie, and it's interesting how even he didn't take it seriously while they were filming it. According to Wikipedia he called it a "shit" movie. But this, in actuality, was the movie that made the name James Cameron a meme for me. Who can ever forget the haunting photograph of Sarah Connor sitting in the CJ-7 as the storm clouds are gathering on the horizon? The second movie exuded style and techniques that revealed the shortcomings and "low-budgetism" of the first, (though even a jaded critic could see the sincerity that went into the first one.) Robert Patrick was perfect in the role of the T-1000. And even to this day when someon mentions a Harley Fat Boy, how can you not think of Arnold on the one he "borrowed" from the biker in the bar?
2. Lost on Blu-Ray
If you've been following me this far, you know how much I hate television. As a matter of fact I boycott it. I haven't watched network/cable television in many years. I hate commercials that much. When you break them down into what they really are, they are an affront to human intelligence: a vehicle designed to interrupt your viewing experience in a beggar's attempt to get you to buy something. Utter crap.
And that is why I love optical and digital media. I love DVDs and Blu-Ray. And what has me hooked now is Lost. I never watched it the first time around because of my eternal television boycott. But now, getting to see every episode on my terms, commercial free, is something that is almost a utopia of sorts. This stuff is digital crack so far. I've only watched the first two episodes, but the white sands and green water, the green leafy palms depicted on the Blu-Ray disc make me want to go there. It kind of reminds me of Battlefield 2's Wake Island. And those of you know who know what this is can stop laughing about now. Heh. But seriously, is there any other place you'd rather be marooned?

3. Twins of Evil on Blu-Ray
Hammer Films ruled the roost when I was a kid as far as horror movies went. Today, if it's not a homocidal maniac with superhuman strength wreaking havoc it's a teenager spending the first hour of a ninety minute film convincing his peers, "yes, it's true, it was a vampire! I saw a vampire!" Not so with the old Hammer films. These movies opened up with the populace holed up in the local inn at moonrise BECAUSE there are vampires lurking outside. Despite the almost melodramatic tone of these movies, many of them were rated R at the time they came out, and me being a ten year old kid = me not being able to see them. And now obtaining this beautiful transfer onto Blu-Ray of two twin girls, one almost a saint, and the other a conniving little she-devil who falls into the guiles of Count Karnstein who lives in the castle upon the hill and becomes one of the sexiest vampires on film is something I never imagined I'd see. And Peter Cushing, who had just lost his wife, and looks absolutely grievous with his sunken cheeks and cadaverous countenance is grand in his role in this film.

4. Platoon on DVD
In 1986 I had no idea who Charlie Sheen was. All I knew was I went to see this movie that was getting good reviews, and it was about Viet Nam. I was just out of the military myself and somewhat fired up to see something like this. I walked out of the movie disturbed and it wasn't until Spielberg's venerable Saving Private Ryan that I would feel anything similar over a movie. My emotions are easily toyed with via the written word; I'm a bookaholic, but via movies, not so much. Well, not like this movie did anyway. Stone's vision in this movie was dismal, forlorn, almost without hope. But beyond that, it just felt so . . .true. I was a little kid when my parent's friends were all getting drafted to go to Vietnam, but I remember the way they talked. I remember the vernacular, hell, I still use it myself to this day. I still say, "man" when I begin or end certain sentences. This movie makes Coppola's Apocalypse Now look like the parts of Disney's Peter Pan that ended up on the cutting room floor. I'm sorry, Frankie, but this movie made me feel like I was carrying around an anvil in my stomach.

5. Appleseed Cast Sagarmatha on CD
I just happend to hear this band on radiotuna or Pandora, not sure which one now, but it doesn't matter. At times I feel as if I go through life as an automoton, an object under some cruel kid's magnifying glass, walking in a straight line like some Frankenstein monster. And then something comes along, a giant hand or whatever, that picks me up and turns me to the left or right. Suddenly I'm heading into a new direction. This month, this album was that. I'm probably going to have to order another copy. I'm wearing this one out in my CD player. These guys are a cross between Explosions in the Sky and an American version of Sigur Ros. How is it possible to listen to a tune and be moved to tears, then hit repeat and the next time it makes you into the coolest joe on the planet, Ray-Bans on and convertible top pulled down? So odd, how the songs on this album do this, but even moreso odd, how it does it when I'm not paying attention. Heavy on the bass and with a flighty Fender Stratocaster set to full "chorus" and reverb that makes you think of white sand beaches, coconuts about to burst on palm trees and skies so blue they make your chest ache, this is good stuff. The best. I defy you to listen to "Raise the Sails" and not think about running across a spacious green lawn, spreading your arms, raising your face to the sun, eyes closed in glee and preparing to take flight.

6. Titan Quest on PC
Edward Pyro, my esteemed fire mage who lived in this galaxy a long, long time ago, about 5,000 years to be exact, during the Grecian empire, is now level 19 and soon to be level 20. I have about 25 hours into the game. The game is good despite it's age, and, yes, it could be construed as a true Diable II competitor, but I'm ready for it to be over with. I just ran into my first impossible boss in which there was no possible way of defeating him. I mean, how do you beat a guy who when you expend every ounce of energy (mana) and strength (health) you have, his lifeline hasn't moved at all? I began looking for cheats and walk throughs, and unfortunately, couldn't find any. But those old Grecian gods were smiling on me because after a reload the game was bugged, and I simply stood there and wailed melee on the boss culprit and he stood there and took it like a mortal man. I beat him, scored the loot, got the XP (and the level) and discovered I had two more lands to visit.

7. The Black Shrike by Alistair MaClean
"Research scientists needed by top rocket project overseas. Top priority work, highest salaries. Box 41." Would you respond to an ad like this? Unfortunately some scientists did, and now it's up to counterespionage agent Bentall and his cohort, Marie posing as husband and wife to begin at a Fiji hotel to find them. Written in 1961, this book is adventure with a capital A. Part Ian Fleming, part Jules Verne, and a whole lot of Battlefield 2's Wake Island. (There I go again with that weird allusion.) I can't help it, I love the place. I'd move there tomorrow if I could. Google it. You might find yourself wanting to move there as well.

8. Tron 2.0 on PC
This PC game was quite the number back in good ol' 2003. Geeze, was that almost ten years ago? Really? Well, with Monolith's ingenious cartoon/bright graphics/Syd Mead look the game still looks as fantastic as it did when it came out. The Disney movie wasn't all that great, no doubt, but Monolith took the game and made it a continuation of sorts, and it shines. The game is a simple FPS with different nomenclature, and a thinly veiled storyline. Hard to believe I rage quitted this game years ago, but it was one of those games that seemed to hearken to me from its lofty perch on the shelf. So I thought I'd give it another try. I won't say it's a must play game, but I will say it's an important game that won numerous awards upon its release. I try not play games in the dark anymore, it's just murder on the eyes, and with today's LCD screens it really is unnecessary, but this game screams to be played in the dark. Syd Mead's (Blade Runner) influences bleed from this thing like coolant spewing from a liquid cooled i7 processor.

9. Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas on PC
After recently trying GTA III on my PC and finding it wholly incompatible with my operating system I decided to try a more modern version of the game. I found that in GTA:SA. I loved the tone and setting. This was "Sanford and Son" that lost its innocence. Hell, this was "Boyz N the Hood," ripped off. I'm not a fan of Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre gangsta rap, but this stuff was tight as I rolled low in my '63 Chevy chop top popping rivals and taking missions from neighborhood gang leaders. This game captured southern LA in 1992 perfectly. And then I discovered something not so perfect. The game was flawed. The game was designed/created/released with  the PC as an afterthought. I aggressively avoid games that eschew my enamored platform like this. Had I known. The game played perfectly, despite the lack of quicksaves I still found it manageable. And then came the the one mission where I had to pose as a limousine driver picking up a famous rap artist at the local awards show (Grammy's anyone? it smells it, looks it, tastes it.) So, I pick the guy up and instead of taking him to his MTV crib, I drive off a local pier with his doors locked while I dive out and swim to shore, mission accomplished. So, I crawl out of the surf, my jam trunks clinging to my skinny legs and butt like flypaper, and what awaits me, but the rap artist's bodyguards. They unload their Uzis into me. So, I had to start the mission over again because they saw me. No big deal, right? Wrong. I had to start the mission all the way over from the VERY beginning. We're talking a three tier mission here with no saves in between. Screw that noise. I played this game because I wanted to ultimately play GTA IV despite its draconian GFWL sign in and mandatory membership/sign in to Rockstar Live or whatever the hell it's called. But I won't now. I'm done with Rockstar. GTA began on the PC. Rockstar, you betrayed us. Now, I never knew you.

10. Gun on PC
I have seen the movie Tombstone ten times. That's not an exaggeration. I have seen The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly also ten times. Larry McMurtry's Lonesome Dove was one of the best novels I've ever read (and well worth its 1974 Pulitzer). And yet, I don't consider myself a fan of westerns. Gawd, I hate country and western music! But there's something in the writing of these aforementioned vehicles that compel them to me like nothing else can. The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly bond me and my stepfather like nothing else ever can. And someday when my beloved stepfather is gone I wonder if I'll be even be able to watch that movie again. When Gun was released in 2006 I had high hopes. Lance Henrickson and Tom Skerritt were voicing major characters in the game, and the game was itself penned by a Hollywood screenplay writer. I picked up the game and installed it, and not soon afterward rage quitted it and uninstalled it due to it's obvious issue with "consolitis." This month I decided to give it another go. I got to the part where I had to race an old prospector named "Honest Tom" to acquire a horse. Impossible. I tried it with the keyboard, and reluctanctly attempted with an Xbox controller. I finally went to the forums at www.gamepressure.com where some idiot going by the name of "Thermos" had to say this about it, "dis mission is so easy dat if u cant do it just dont bother with anymore of the game at all." Kids today. Are our schools that bad? And then someone else, Dark Tom7, (must be Thermos's brother had this to say when asked for advice, "oh yeh if u still cant do it after sell the game and buy crash bandicoot." What? Is this guy texting in on a Walmart buy the minutes phone? The bottom line is, this game like GTA:SA suffers from another case of "consilitis." I'm done with such games. PC games outsell every console game on the planet (yes, all consoles put together. Google it.) Let the consoles' high production values and kiss ass licensing fees sink right along with them. I'm done playing console games that are lazily ported over.

11. PC Gamer Magazine 2010
Still perusing my PC Lamers--this is a magazine I truly love. I get really nostalgic poring over my old issues. Gary Whitta, EIC who penned the truly epic movie, The Book of Eli, Greg "the Vede" Vederman who remains to this day one of the best PC hardware writers I've ever encountered, William R. Trotter who penned the wargaming column for so many years and has penned some bestselling war fiction on his own, Andy Mahood, who writes the sim colum to this day (and who has personally emailed me to answer questions) these are all men after my own heart. I love PC games not only because of their very substance, but also because these are the men who made me fall in love with PC games.

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